Dating a single mom with an infant

They might have thought I was bragging — but actually it was the contrary.

dating a single mom with an infant-79dating a single mom with an infant-60

Navigating multiple new relationships can be overwhelming. Yes, not liking the fit between the person you are dating and your kids is a deal breaker, even if you love him or her as a partner. Getting smarter means learning all you can about how stepfamilies function, operate best, and why they have the unique complexities that they do.

Breaking the two families into parts can be helpful initially. Liking a parent’s dating partner sometimes creates a loyalty problem for kids: They don’t know how to embrace everyone and not hurt feelings (especially the other biological parent). You may know how to drive a car, but driving in snow and icy conditions requires a different knowledge and skill set.

Eventually, though, assuming your dating relationship continues to deepen, you’ll want to get everyone together for a shared activity. Because they are caught in a loyalty conflict, children sometimes warm up nicely to the person you are dating and then turn cold. Nearly all blended families have inclement weather to manage as they drive (especially in the first few years), so adopt the attitude of a learner.

was over Bloody Marys and fried potatoes at Vinegar Hill House in Brooklyn. We bonded about our New England roots, and delighted in throwback slang, like ‘wicked’ and ‘grinder.’ I insisted he take the leftovers home. Alas, transitioning into a more conventional family structure was about to be one of the hardest decisions of my life. I guess I didn’t belong in that Facebook group anymore. What would it really mean if she started to call him Daddy?

Whatever the sacrifices were, we liked what we had. Many times a day — especially now that we all live together in an apartment in Brooklyn — I ask myself, “Am I still a single mom?

I felt proud to be a solo parent and idolized the single moms who helped me get there.We took her hiking upstate, which coincided with a work trip for him. We barely went to any cool, cultural activities unless they ended by p.m. Granted, she also called dogs “Da-Da’s.” We laughed it off by telling people she thought S. “Da Da” soon turned to “Daddy” and while we never pushed it, we also never corrected it. ” I’m so grateful to have a loving partner worthy of my and Hazel’s complete adoration.We watched her crawl for the first time on the floor of a hotel lobby — while on a magazine assignment for me. Those early stages of dating that are often filled with drunken nights and romantic drifting were pretty much impossible for us. I could also say, “One more pair of socks to pick up and also, um, the will to move my body for, um, sex?! ” It’s not a single mom or working mom or married mom thing — parenting can sometimes feel crazy amazing crazy hard.During my pregnancy, the only man I craved was Justin of the Peanut Butter Cup, but when I finally recovered from my C-section, got into a breastfeeding groove, and felt quasi-human again, I had decided to get back on the market. First of all, my parents and sister helped me so much. I felt extremely liberated by my decision to become a ‘Single Mother by Choice.’ It was (and still is) a great pleasure to talk to new people about the journey. Before we even reached the three-month mark, we survived chronic carsickness, Lyme disease, daily sleep-deprivation and a devastating professional heartbreak (mine). will tell you — so it’s no big surprise that Hazel is a chatterbox. “My daughter started calling my boyfriend ‘Daddy.’ I feel comfortable with it. Was I prepared to release my grip on that autonomy? Now that she’s two, I’m tested more physically than emotionally.Which is why I had mixed emotions when things with S. I didn’t need him around, but I sure wanted him around. By date four, we all went to a Dolly Parton concert with his parents and siblings in Maine. I never had time to shop for lacy bras, let alone shave my legs or wear glowy makeup. It was a little surprising, however, when she started calling him “Da-Da” around 11-months-old. I’m constantly carrying Hazel, the stroller, her scooter, her helmet, our groceries (aka: waffles, Talenti and wine), my coat, her jean jacket, my pocketbook, her pocketbook, her babies, my keys if I can find them, etc. Now I can say, “Thank goodness I have a second set of hands!This road-less-traveled to motherhood has rewarded me with so many beautiful and surprising gems.

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