Dating in my 40s
Still, race can color dating experiences in minute and major ways.
In many ways, the mechanics of dating are universal, regardless of whether you’re black, white, brown or “a colorless person,” as Raven-Symone famously described herself to Oprah in a 2014 interview.
On occasion, I like to look at Craigslist, which I consider to be one of the great Internet success stories of our time.
She says that we have to unlearn cultural lessons that have been reinforced through our lives — such as the idea that love comes to us.“I believe, culturally, we’ve been taught from all the Disney movies, all the chick flicks (even in ‘Girls Trip’), the woman ends up with a man, and she didn’t have to do anything,” Adams-Roberts said.
“We’ve been taught that we don’t have to do anything. So it feels weird to have to put in effort.” But when finding love is a priority, strategic effort is needed, she said.
I let one man take my 20s, another man take my 30s, so I think that I have to be a little bit strategic in my 40s.”Bridgette Gordon, 48, of Lansing, thinks traditional courting has been replaced with “a la carte” online dating.
“Other races date for six or seven months, and then they get married. I find, in the black community, a man will date you for 10-15 years and never marry you.
“I think we hold ourselves back, and I think we need to be open, get out of your comfort zone.
If you want something different, do something different.”Related: Dating while black: Not enough black men?Maybe you’re divorced and frustrated with dating or haven’t ventured back out to the dating pool.You could be a widow and unsure of ever finding another man like your husband. Recent data suggest that, at all ages, black Americans have lower marriage rates than other racial and ethnic groups. Michelle Williams, 43, of Carpentersville, has been single for two years and says it’s harder to date in the 40-something group “because you kind of know what you want, and it’s not necessarily presented to you.”“What separates our community from others is I feel other races date with a purpose,” Williams said. If practice makes perfect, then by the time they’re in the 35-and-older demographic, each and every dater should be a savvy pro, gliding easily into fulfilling partnerships, right? Researchers argue in a 2015 study that a racial gap in marriage emerged in the 1960s, when black marriage rates started to decline, first slowly then steeply. Census Bureau data from 2008 to 2012, less than two-thirds of black women were married by their early 40s, compared with almost nine out of 10 white and Asian/Pacific Islander women and more than eight in 10 Hispanic women.Her tips for more fruitful dating for those over 40: Gordon is an example of someone who has made it to the other side.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating