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Whatever the reason, we’ve got something unique going on, something our non-military related friends just don’t get. But it seems that whenever I write about the awesomeness that is the Mil Spouse friendship, there’s always someone wondering where all those friends are hiding, someone lonely for that perfect companion, someone who puts herself out there but has yet to find that Mrs. Just as we all have stories about the beginning dating stages with our spouses, we also have stories of our first dates with friends.

So here is my version of dating for Mil Spouses: First Base First base is a military-related function, either through your servicemember or a service offered through your local installation. Or a Fourth of July picnic for your spouse’s new command.

You’re starting to get real, but you still put your best face forward. You still talk about PCSing, but now you admit how much you resent having to move again.

You still talk about deployments, but now you confide about your struggles with depression.

I got to second with my best friend when I invited her to my house after chatting her up a few times at our kids’ playgroup on base.

I realized we were pretty good at first base, but I sensed she wanted more. That is, I invited her over for a playdate with the kids.

I'm not usually inclined to attend these events voluntarily, and then, if and when I actually show up, I’m not the type of person to approach people I don’t know, especially if I sense I’m an outsider looking in on an already established inner circle.

But I have to remind myself that first base usually ends with the butterflies-in-your-tummy feeling of excitement that accompanies a new relationship and the giddy teenager thoughts that, “She could be THE ONE.” Second Base A Mil Spouse friendship hits second base when you schedule an outting that involves either your significant others for a double date or the kids for buffers in case you discover that first base is the best it’s ever gonna get.

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