Dating while still in a relationship

A recent dinner with a past acquaintance has brought me to a place where I now know a conversation on why-I-even-dressed-up-for-a-dinner-with-a-man-I-had-no-idea-was-married-until-we-were-well-into-dessert is very much needed.

I am a 40-something single woman interested in dating single, heterosexual men yet lately I seem to meet more than the usual of those who are Dating While Married (DWM).

She likes playing sports, exploring new places and trying new things.

You can usually find her hanging out at a coffee shop, in a bookstore, or on a softball field.

My heart sank as the truth I had already known finally started to come out. A man can frame it any way he likes, but the simple truth is that a man doesn’t keep his dating profile up unless he wants to keep his options open.

He wants to have the best of both worlds — that of being single, and that of being in a relationship — which now leaves us at the point of either breaking up or renegotiating the terms of our relationship.

But when those unique dating situations suddenly become your present reality, you still feel like a deer caught in headlights no matter how many books about polyamory or open relationships you may have read.

I’ve been dating a guy I met online for almost six months, but he won’t delete his online dating profile.

Other times, you get hit with a case of FOMO, or fear of missing out, and you take a gander at all the men or women you could be dating instead.

Every now and then, you come across the online dating profile of someone you know, but when that someone you know happens to be someone you’re supposed to be in a relationship with, you can’t help but start questioning the validity of that relationship.

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