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Almost since I was a child nearing adolescence, the other boys at school instinctively rejected me.

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In the afternoon, I would rush home to see after-school reruns of “Batman” and imagine myself as Burt Ward.

To this day, it’s highly significant that homoerotic fantasies about Batman and Robin are pervasive in gay male culture.

She was named the 13 and Under Reserve All-Around Champion, giving her a total of four reserve championships (2nd place).

In addition, Upton ended up third overall on the APHA youth Top Twenty.

Here, proficiency wasn’t a necessity, only budding vigor, stamina, and unquestioning willingness. A man in a tight thin t-shirt that showed off his pecs like Adam West suddenly asked me to dance. On the dance floor, he moved close and put his mouth to my ear.

Unlike during our lost childhood, there were men willing to coach and guide us. Over the loud music I could slightly make-out a muffled question.

During a photo shoot, someone joked about a cross necklace she wore, saying, "Why are you wearing a cross?

Like you would be religious", then took the necklace from her to do the shoot.

From porn, I sort of knew what to expect; I had seen such ominous similarly titled films like: “Daddy It Hurts,” “Stop It Hurts,” and “Its Gonna Hurt.” I imagined my transition to masculinity as an initiation rite.

And at the near height of the AIDS crisis, like male youths in tribal cultures, who had to endure some sort of physical torment or trial in order to join the community of men, I was willing to suffer anything in the process; even to die.

Upton stated about the incident: "I was really affected by that.

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