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Hanson, who works as a nurse at a nursing home, talks openly about her lifestyle with anyone who asks, so people often pepper her with questions.“Some people think I do this because I have low self-esteem, but I think I’m awesome,” she said.

“I don’t need help with that.”One of the most common questions she gets: “Which partner do you love more?

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And according to a national study from June 2015, about 4 percent of the U. population admits to being in an open relationship, which amounts to about 12.8 million people, or roughly three times the population of Kentucky.

In Louisville, Hanson’s boyfriend Jason and his wife lead a support group of polyamorous couples.

At each meeting of the Louisville poly group, members write questions on notecards, and Jason’s wife moderates the ensuing discussion over lunch.

Perennial topics include scheduling, jealousy and public perceptions.“The problems of coordinating a two-person relationship are difficult enough, but when you add a third, fourth or fifth, then you start getting in to ‘who gets me on my birthday? “It can get overwhelming.”Polyamorists often see themselves as predisposed to their lifestyle, Jason added.

I want him to be happy and he wants me to be happy.”She said it’s a poly principle called “compersion” in which a person gains something emotionally when their significant other finds happiness in another relationship.

She said her relationships are “pretty normal,” the only difference is that she has more than one at a time.She wrote in a Psychology Today story that polyamorous people “put a lot of emphasis on communication as a way to build intimacy, explore boundaries, negotiate agreements, and share feelings.”To deal with the problem of jealousy, poly couples talk about what might be causing the feeling, and work to reassure their partners, Sheff said.“They tend to face jealousy more directly,” Sheff said.“The polyamorous tend to view it as a signal that something else is happening. If you’re feeling insecure, it’s not beneficial to have your partner stop whatever they’re doing, but to become more secure in yourself.”For Hanson, Jason’s girlfriend from Ohio, being polyamorous is a way to get everything she wants out of love, which is more than one person can offer.He would be her second husband if she could get her way.“I would marry him today if I could,” Hanson said, adding that she has no intention of leaving her husband, Jim.Instead, she and Jim have agreed to an open relationship.Jason said his poly family resembles an extended family.“I’ve pulled kid duty when visiting my girlfriend and her husband,” Jason said.

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