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My boyfriend requested that I refer him as bigfatloozer (his discussion board handle – it’s a joke; if any of you are familiar with discussion boards).While I discuss my retirement, I’m also aware that I had extra issues not everyone will have: a move from Texas to California, and the dismantling of one life while trying to start a new life and career from scratch. The myth goes something like this: an escort retires when she takes down her ad and stops seeing clients. The switch goes from “on” to “off.” Bigfatloozer and I both bought into this myth because we didn’t know any better.Money plays a bigger part in this than most people like to admit.

(Likewise, a self-assured, self-reliant man is appealing to women.) However, the major difference between the sexes is that a man gets an independent, sexually open woman and the first thing he wants to do is make her monogamous and dependent on him.

Men really cannot tolerate a sexually-free partner. Retiring for a relationship caused me to take a much harder look at male/female relationships, gender roles and expectations in American society.

(This is a major reason why escort work suited me so well.) But I retired to embark on a serious monogamous relationship. I enjoyed the outlet and constant stimulation of new partners (or in the case of stripping, the constant tease). I think a large part of our problem has been that we both bought into gender-sexual stereotypes in this society. Things have come into focus over the past year, but I’m still not back to feeling like a productive member of society.

I realize not every escort will have this same issue. My sense of self has been in limbo since I retired. I don’t have my foundation back; the ground is not under my feet again.

Retirement has also given me the free time and distance to really look at certain issues. A sexually free, independent, happy, non-desperate woman is very attractive to men.

A woman who doesn’t “need” a man is very compelling to men.I didn’t realize how much I enjoyed the daily interaction with my clients until I stopped escort work.It’s made me realize I’m more of a people person than I thought I was.This presentation is based on my casual observations and own experiences.I haven’t conducted any formal interviews on retirement, nor do I know much about the retirement issues of sex workers other than female escorts.And I knew a relationship decision was forthcoming anyway. So I said yes and made plans to dismantle my life and business.

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