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What’s more, the students who dated since middle school also experienced greater risk for depression because of the impact of romantic breakups. So many of these relationships last a week or three weeks. “In school they should not have to focus on dating, but on promoting friendships and healthy relationships.” Kelly Smith, a counselor at Willowcreek Middle School in Portage, Ind., agrees, saying that she spends much of her time dealing with these social and emotional issues.
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Ask them questions like “What do you expect in a relationship? ” and “How do you plan to treat others in a relationship?
” These guided conversations, says Corcoran, are like prethinking: “We need to give them the skills and let them practice before there is a big problem. They need to practice these conversations.” Spend time with your kids.
They were laughing about another friend who was “dating” a girl. It got me wondering what exactly “dating” means to middle schoolers, and whether it’s a good idea at that age.
As many parents know, adolescents between the ages of 12 and 15 can be the most perplexing and frustrating humans on the planet.
Some relationships are very innocent and age-appropriate, some are in the middle and some are having sexual relations with a boyfriend or girlfriend then move on to the next,” Smith says. Parents need to have these conversations early and often with their children.
“Unfortunately, it seems we have more kids choosing to be involved in sexual relationships at a much earlier age.” So what can parents do to help their kids navigate the difficult waters of dating during middle school? “The first time that you talk with your child about relationships shouldn’t be when there is a big problem,” Corcoran says.
Lead researcher Pamela Orinpas says that the study also found that these early daters were twice as likely to have consumed alcohol, smoked cigarettes, and used marijuana in middle school and high school, all risky behaviors. One of the biggest take-home messages from the study, Orinpas says, is that kids don’t have to be dating at that age.
On the other hand, students who never or hardly ever dated consistently had the best study skills and demonstrated the least risky behavior. “They feel pressure to date—that’s the cool thing to do,” she says.
Recently I was driving my 14-year-old son and his friends to soccer practice.
In the backseat they were chattering away, and in the front seat, I was the proverbial fly on the wall. “Yeah, they have been hooking up for a while.” Dating? I wondered how they could be talking about these things when they couldn’t even drive a car or pay for the movies.
There might be something unhealthy or abusive going on in the relationship and they think that it is normal or even romantic.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating